You
by Alkyonides Meres
Summary: A darker look on Naruto's thoughts towards Hinata and their relationship  if you can even call it that  and  her thoughts as despair drains her of hope... Obsession themes.. Be warned!  AU everyone's an adult.
1. Chapter 1

_**That is a oneshot that's been bugging me and so it had to be written. It gives a darker view on the relationship between Hinata and Naruto on his part, because as I see it, being deprived from love, he won't know what it truly feels like and how to act on it... Also i like darker Naruto, so this oneshot explores themes of obsession and possessiveness, so be warned. Depending on feedback I might actually turn it into a full story, albeit a dark one. **_

_**Oh.. I own nothing but the concept.**_

Why is it that every time you are desperate, sad and broken you go running back to her arms..? What is this quality of hers that makes your sun rising up whenever it goes down..?

What is it that she has that doesn't break you and instead, it seems to be pulling you back together..? Why is it only near her that burning ache in your chest subsides until it becomes nothing but a mere memory..?

Surely you do not love her.

You have asked and tested yourself over and over, hoping that this was the answer to these burning questions deep in your mind, yet your hearts stubbornly refuses her. It is not love, for you have felt that emotion, burning you and nearly damn destroying you and so you know that whatever the heck it is you feel for her is not a romantic love, for her mere face does not burn your body and makes your blood rage in your veins and your tongue doesn't caress each vowel of her name as if it was her body instead. Not that she is not beautiful, of course she is, half the male population of Konoha would be all too glad to confirm. It's just that you cannot bring yourself to think of her in such a beastly way because to you she is too pure and should not even be looked at in such a filthy way. You do not lust for her, no. Neither do you desire her. Yet you cannot stand even the thought of some other, unworthy male touching her.

But what's even worse, you cannot stand the thought of her forgetting about you. Of her giving her love to another, that love you and you alone bask in.

Perhaps that is why you are so possessive of her. She was after all the very first to openly declare her love you, her utter devotion and admiration. You alone are the center of her world, while she is just one more of your friends. But she was the very first to gaze upon you and only you and you don't think you are ready to give that up. So you have realized that you are selfish and that probably this selfishness of yours is breaking her apart, but you just can't bring yourself to care, because in a twisted way you are taking it out on her. You do not really believe you deserve it, or that what she offers is real, so you want to punish her, hurt her to see if she can stand it, if she is strong enough to accept it and willing enough to take it.

You enjoy pushing her buttons, giving her hopes that will never come true, because it was done to you and you want revenge and she is the only one who cares enough to let you have it. Everyone called you a monster and she called you a savior. Now you are everyone's savior and her very own monster.

There are however those rare moments when you can't stand the feeling of making her cry and you regret and you want to stop it. You remember the pain she has been through and you cry at nights because you just keep hurting her more and more. And then morning comes and you run into her arms wanting her to hold you close to her heart and sing to you and adore you, while you keep talking for another woman that has your heart and how wonderful that other woman is.

Maybe it's because you fear that she will leave you. After all everyone that you truly loved left you, with Sasuke being the very top of it. So maybe, unconsciously you don't love her because you know she'll leave and you want her all to yourself, all her love and care and adoration that the world denied you. In exchange you will keep giving her fake hopes and then crashing them more and more to make sure she'll stay, crippling her wings so she'll never fly away from you, because after all this is not love and she cannot make you happy and surely you do not wish to make her happy. And of course, if someone were to leave it would be you, since essentially you don't really need her, and once your true and one love comes to you as she must, the raven haired lady you posses will become dust in the back of your mind. But God help the one who tries to take what's yours. You have shared enough and perhaps you can share more, everything perhaps if needed, except from her. She will always belong to you. You'll make sure, destroying anyone who comes even near her. Only when you will be with your love you might let her go, but not before that, not even a moment before that and surely not to some other unworthy bastard. She deserves only you but she won't have you, although you can have her all you want to yourself.

And that's what you tell yourself each day, never being moved by anything that she does for you, or so you claim. But when she starts singing lullabies to Kiba and smiling softly to Shino, when the hug she now seeks is that of Ino's and the comfort your fake promises used to provide is now being offered by a dark haired man who used to be your best friend, you start to worry, because it seems that without you noticing she drifts away from you. Deep down, for all your thick headedness and self imprinted illusions you have forged, you start to realize.. She is not the needy one in this relationship. And then, slowly, it's coming to your understanding that you are so desperately depended on her that honestly... should she leave you first you just don't know what will happen. In the end no matter what you say, should she leave you you'll burn everything and everyone in your path to get her back. And once she becomes yours again you'll stop at nothing to make sure she'll stay and you'll even break her legs if you must. And that is what you experience under the grip of the absolute terror losing her evokes in you. And when you tremble at the notion that she'll soon forget you, you come to the conclusion that she's not yours but you are hers and should she ask something you'll move heaven and earth, still no matter what.. You'll never ever ever let her go. Not even if Sakura comes to you, or if Hinata loves another.

Hinata will never escape you.

At that you smile and you thoroughly...

Believe it.

_**Sooo... hate it..? Love it..?**_

_**Do tell. **_


	2. Her

_**I had to do her part. She was literally making me with her soft spoken threats in my head. Not as shy is she now..? She will seem tremendously ooc. I don't think I care, this is a twisted kind of story so, I deliberately made her obsessive. I think she'd be. It suits her.**_

_**I own nothing.**_

Love. You hate the word. Nowadays you are not even sure if it exists at all. Love is a slow form of suicide, you had heard once. Now you've become the living proof of it.

Love had once guided you. It had opened your heart, your mind and your soul. It had guided you and changed you from a pathetic shell to a whole new person you were actually proud of. Love had saved you, offered you dreams and hopes and sunshine. Once you had gazed upon sky blue eyes and seen a vast world, full of endless possibilities and strength and pure pure emotions that made your breath still from the sheer beauty of it.

Now it was destroying you. That same feeling that had built you was tearing you apart day after day. He was always coming to you now. Always devoted and obsessed, he devoured you slowly with his hugs and adamant adoration that you gave out all too willingly, all too happily. At first it had made you hope for a future, for golden locks tickling your face and for hugs that smelled of sunshine.

How wrong you were.

Like a needy child he basks in your love and attentions and demands them from you and you can refuse him nothing because he makes you breath and _feel_. He makes you _alive_. He hurts you everyday. Oh, you have been hurt before, losing your beloved mother, then the love of your father and slowly your whole clan. You are afraid you'll lose him too, so you don't dare do anything to drive him away, to make him seek new hugs and caresses but your own, because he is yours and you have earned the privilege of holding him and doting on him whenever he wishes you to. But he is such a cruel man. He lets you hope things will change, will be better. Yet as days go by and you remain alone and he comes and goes whenever he wishes you find yourself paining more and more. He comes and brings you the sun and the moon and the world is happy again and you don't mind whenever he is there that he is not really yours, that he uses you as a surrogate mother to learn how it is to be loved, because when you have him in your arms nothing matters.

And then he goes away, taking your sun and your moon _and your hopes_ with him to chase after fleeting, withering, damning sakura petals. And then your pain comes crushing back, smolthering you, destroying you, tearing you apart. It's so intense it burns your eyes and your tears are hot down your cheeks. You do not sob silently anymore, you screech hysterically because it has become a physical ache you cannot stand. Your heart bleeds and you feel it, _actually feel _it ripping in two and clawing it's way out of your chest and you wonder if you'll die or if you're already dead and this is all a dream. Your breath catches and you scream in agony and despair because if you're not, then you are dying, every day a little more. And then he dares to come back and soothe your fears with lies and fake promises, and then he goes away again, leaving you behind with nightmares, darkness and hate _(an endless cycle you can no longer bear)._

Someday, you've realized that you despise him, cannot stand him and want to hurt him too. You want to see him coming after you and begging, yet you still love him and something inside you refuses to hurt him and wants you to let him do whatever he pleases as long as he comes back. And then one day, when Kiba's smiles started to ligt your pain and Shino's caring comments made you smile freely, when Ino's hugs seemed protecting and soothing and when a darkened avenger's promises made your heart skip a bit, you realized that you have started to drift away and you _think _you no longer need him. Soon it comes to your understanding that you have begun to drift away from him and if he doesn't catch you soon you'll leave forever.

But he does catch you. He is not an idiot when it comes to you anymore and with a startling certainty you haven't ever had before, you realise the power you have on him and how the words you've once uttered have binded him to you forever. He is yours now, you know, and he cannot let you go anymore than you can. He has become as addicted as you were _(are)_.

You had once heard that in a relationship, the one who cares the least has the more power.

You won't let him go that easily now that you know that in his own twisted and broken way he loves you too.

After all you still love him, so you'll endure anything and cling to him and make him stay forever for he is yours and he knows it. You won't leave _he won't let you, he'll break your legs if he must, he told you once, _but you won't let him go anymore as well. And that you promise...

And you never go back on your word.

_**Loved it..? Hated it..?**_

_**Show me.**_


End file.
